"SMS Jokes"

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Saan lugar parehong kulot ang buhok ng babae at lalake?
.
.
.
I like the way you think…

Yes,the answer is:

“AFRICA”

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

2 kids talkin:

RICH KID: “Sometimes if you work hard enough, u can get what u want. But most times what you want & what you get are 2 different things. Sumtimes God breaks are spirit 2 save our soul. Sumtimes He breaks our heart to make us whole. Although we can’t have everything we want, we can want evrything we have.”

POOR KID: Pakyu! damot mo! Pahiram lang ng PSP,eh! Dame mo pa sinasabi!!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

anong kaibahan ng PERA ng mayaman sa PERA ng mahirap?

ang pera ng Mayaman parang Pepsi, kung hindi Max, Mega.

ang sa Mahirap parang Coke,

kundi SAKTO, ZERO!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

TITSER: ”Akala ko, taga-London ang mother mo, Bakit wala kang pang-tuition?”
ELMER: ”Hindi po. Marami po kaming utang. Loan dito, loan sa Bumbay at LOAN DOON, kaya po nabansagan kaming taga-LONDON…”

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

B0y: “alam nio! alam nio!alam nio! alaaam niooo!”
Girl: “alam nio to! alam nio to!”

– magsyotang ng0ng0 na walang sawang nagsasabihan ng i l0ve y0u.

Subject: Re: "SMS Jokes" Tue Feb 10, 2009 2:06 pm

hutaragis na mga texts yan "SMS Jokes" - Page 2 952907

ngongo lol

Posts : 2 Join date : 2009-02-14 Age : 33

isang gbe hinila ng isang lolo ang isang dalagita sa damuhan..

dalagita:
lo, wag mo ng subukang gahasain ako, kasi alam q susumpong lng ang rayuma n'yo..

lolo:
watch me, ngaflanax yata aq..

HANEP!!!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

@ oenone

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Babae: “Doc, kumusta na ang asawa ko? ”
Doc: “Sorry ma’am. Mula ngayon, ikaw na ang magpapakain at
magpapaligo sa kanya, kasi, putol na ang kanyang mga kamay at paa. ”
Babae: “Hah?! Hindi nga?!?”
Doc: “Hehehe! Ninerbyos ka ano? Joke lang! Patay na sya!”

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

RAPIST TO AN 85 YEAR OLD LOLA IN A DARK ALLEY AT AN UNGODLY HOUR:
RAPIST: HALA, HUBAD!
LOLA: AMANG, PARANG AWA MO NA MATANDA NA AKO AT TA-TATLO NA NGA LANG NGIPIN KO.
RAPIST: PAKIALAM KO KUNG MATANDA KA NA AT PASALAMAT KA TATLO LANG IPIN MO DAHIL TATLONG BESES LANG KITANG RE-REYPIN
LOLA: HUWAAAAAGGGGGGGG!
So na-reyp si Lola 3 times. Pagkatapos mang-reyp, nagbihis na ang rapist at sabi kay Lola:
RAPIST: OKAY KA PALA, SIGE DIYAN KA NA!
LOLA: AMANG, AMANG TEKA SANDALI LANG!
RAPIST: BAKIT NAMAN?
LOLA: TEKA MERON PA AKONG BAGANG DITO (pointing to a molar)

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

SA ISANG PAYABANGAN:
FRENCH : ”We have invented a robot who can make cars.”
AMERICAN: ”We have robots who can go to the moon.”
PINOY : ”We have a ROBOT who can kidnap both Americans and French!”
(Kuha mo, Kumander ROBOT ng Abu Sayaf???)

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

SA LOOB NG CONFESSIONAL BOX NG ISANG SIMBAHAN:
SAKRISTAN: “Forgive me father…”
PRIEST : ”Bakit iho? ”
SAKRISTAN: “HINALAY ko po ang alaga natin na PUSA. ”
PRIEST : Naipasok mo ba iho?”
SAKRISTAN: “OPO, Father!”
PRIEST : ”Buti ka pa…. ako KINALMOT eh!”

Posts : 2 Join date : 2009-02-14 Age : 33

@ zeta

iloveyou too..

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

ANAK: “Tays! Kains na tayos!
AMA: “Anak! Tigilan mo nga kakalagay ng “s” sa salita mo! Ano ba ulam?”
ANAK: ”inigang na bangu na may ibuya at kamati. Hmm… arap ng abaw!”

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

PARE1: ”Pre, whats your biggest fantasy?”
PARE2: ”To be kissed by someone in the rain. How about you?”
PARE1: “To be..

dat someone pare…”

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

3 Palatandaan na Matanda na ang Lalake:
1. Mga daliri na lang ang tumitigas
2. Balahibo na lang ang tumatayo
3. Mukha na lang ang Nagagalit

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

QUESTION: What d0 y0u call tw0 ugly pe0ple stabbing each 0ther?
ANSWER: Saksakan ng pangit!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

KRIMINAL1: “Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung papatayin natin?”
KRIMINAL2: “Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito wala parin siya! Sana naman walang nangyaring masama sa kanya.”

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

JUDGE: ”Isa ka palang pusher, kidnapper, gun for hire, gambling lord, swindler at bugaw! Wala ka bang matinong hanapbuhay?”
ACCUSED: ” Meron po. Pulis po ako.”

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Teacher : ” Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? ”
One Student : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.”

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Teacher : “Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?”
Sam : “No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook”.

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Waiter : “Would you like your coffee black?”
Customer : “What other colors do you have?”

Subject: Re: "SMS Jokes" Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:40 am

wahahaha top tier texts!! "SMS Jokes" - Page 2 952907

pulis haha

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

BADING: “papa, pa finger naman sa pwet. .”
LALAKE: “‘o cge.. .(Pinas0k ang daliri).”
BADING: “deeper pa papa!”
LALAKE: (pinas0k ang bu0ng kamay ng may makapang cellf0ne sa l0ob)
LALAKE: “putah!. .bakit may cellf0ne dito?”
BADING: “surprise!!..happy m0nthsari!”

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

BANAT of the DAY

“Sabi nila ang disneyland daw ang happiest place on earth..
Sabi ko naman..
Try mo sa piling ko,
Baka magbago isip mo.”

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