"SMS Jokes"

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Judge: Ang hatol ko sa iyong pananampal ay multa ng P500.
Offender: Opo, may panukli po ba kayo sa P1000?
Judge: Wala! Sampalin mo na lang uli yang complainant!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

2010 Teams to beat:
Lacson- Biazon or Ping-Pong
De Castro- Mel Tiangco or Kabayan-Kapuso
Sotto- Sonny Osmena or Tito-Tita

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Lola: paraahhh!!
Driver: bakit po?
Lola: iihi ako! (umutot)
Driver: sabi nyo iihi kayo, ba’t kayo umutot?
Lola: Totoy, wen der is rain, der is thunder!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Man: God, how long is a million years to you?
God: A second.
Man: How much is $1 billion to you?
God: A cent.
Man: Can I have a cent?
God: Just a second…

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

If Adam & Eve were Pinoys, they would not have committed the original sin.
Kakanin nila ang ahas at ibebenta na lang ang mansanas. ü

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

PGMA and FG were at a baseball game. Suddenly FG grab PGMA by the collar and throws her over the side and onto the field.
The stunned umpire shouted, “No, Sir! I said, ‘Throw the first PITCH!’”

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Frank: Honey,bkt lumaki ang butas ng ilong mo?
Misis: D2 mo kc ipinasok ang TT mo kagabi!
Frank: Ha? Ba’t dka kumibo?
Msis: Kc nman nasa bunganga ko ang bayag mo no!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

ARAB: tell me what u want, i give, but u marry me!
GIRL: u give house & lot?!
ARAB: Ok!
GIRL: bmw?
ARAB: i give!
GIRL: do u have 12 inch penis?
ARAB: (thinking) ok, for u i cut!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Girl: Doc, meron po kong insomnia, di po ako makatulog.
Doc: try mong makipag sex gabi-gabi.
Girl: Makakatulong po ba un makatulog ako?
Doc: hindi, pero mag-e-enjoy mo ang insomnia mo!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Cherish things while you still have them, not when they’re gone.
One of the hardest things to deal with is REGRET.
So enjoy life habang may libog ka pa!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Judge: Ikaw na naman! Sampung taon ka nang humaharap sa korte ko ah!
Swindler: Your Honor, kasalanan ko ba kung hanggang ngayon ay di kayo napo-promote.

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Mrs. Irene Kho appeared on TV Patrol, Monday night, to defend her son. She said, “Ang anak ko ang pinaglaruan. Ang anak ko ang tinatapakan.”

Apparently, she has not seen Hayden’s lewd videos. Otherwise, she would have said, “Ang anak ko ang dinadaganan. Ang anak ko kinakain. Ang anak ko inuupuan. Ang anak ko pinapatungan.”

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Bakit tinapunan si HAYDEN KHO ng tubig sa senado?
cause he’s SIZZLING HAWT!!!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Binasura ng fiscal complaint ni Katrina Halili. She lied sa affidavit nya when she accused Hayden na binaboy sya coz when the video was reviewed, hindi naman sya binaboy...kinabayo sya!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Nasubukan mo na bang patawanin ang mahal mo pero napikon? Pinilit mong pasayahin pero nagalit? Aba sabihin mo…
‘Punyeta! Halika sa kuwarto! Kung ayaw mong tumawa, pauungulin kita!’

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Pirated video of Dr Hayden Kho on sale.with Katrina Halili, P80,with Maricar, P60,with Vicky Belo. 10 pesos plus free derma services at any Belo clinic.

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Q: Ano ang sasabihin mo kapag nag-hi sa’yo si Katrina Halili?
A: Hayden.

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Mga madre nag-swimming…
Madre1: Sister, bawal sa atin ang two-piece.
Madre2: Ganun ba? Eh alin tatanggalin ko, yun sa ibaba o yun sa itaas?

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Reactions ng mga girls ng nawalan ng wallet:
Ritzy Girl: There goes my 20 thou.
Sosi Girl: Damn! Gone are my credit cards.
GRO: Tang ina! Tip ni Totoy nandun!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

GRO: Wow! Ganda ng brief mo! Flag ng U.S.A. ang design.
Customer: Salamat! Sayo naman flag ng Japan.
GRO: Hindi ho! Mens ko yan! Nakalimutan ko lang magpalit ng panty.

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

PAALAALA SA MGA NAGPUPUNTA SA MGA SAUNA BATH, SPA, VIP RO0MS NG NITE CLUBS AT DISCO PUBS:
Siguruhin nyong walang HAYDEN camera doon.

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

A graffiti inside the cubicle of a ladies CR:
“Please don’t sit like a frog, Sit like a Queen.”
At sa isang urinal ng mga men’s comfort room:
“Hawak mo ang kinabukasan ng bayan.”o ang kinabukasan ng bayan.”

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Pitong Malahayop na Paraan Para di Ka Makalimutan ng Ka-sex Mo:
1. Dilang pusa
2. Kadyot aso
3. Lingkis sawa
4. Tibay kuneho
5. Sisip linta
6. Sugud toro
7. Aring kabayo!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Dati may kasabihan na ang nagwawagi “di umaayaw, at ang umaayaw di nagwawagi!”
IBA NA NGAYON!
Ang umaayaw, MALAMBOT NA!
Ang di umaayaw, BITIN PA!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Popularity isn’t measured by your outer appeal,
nor the clothes and jewels you wear,
but what’s inside you…
So try to go out NAKAHUBAD!

» okay mag challenge tayu ng ating mga "BRUTE"!!!!
» "!For Jev's Eyes Only!"