"SMS Jokes"

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Bakit masaRap magmaHaL ang nuRse?
1.kasi maAlaga
2.kasi mahabA ang paSensya
3.magaling sa gam0t
4.malinis sa katawan
and lastly..
5.marUn0ng s kaMa… sa Bedmaking.

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Frank: “Honey, bakit lumaki ang butas ng ilong mo?
Misis: “Dito mo kasi ipinasok ang TiTi mo kagabi!
Frank: “Ha? Ba’t di ka kumibo?
Misis: “Kasi naman nasa bunganga ko ang bayag mo no!”

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Guy : Doc, hina ng tenga ko. Di ko marinig kahit utot ko.
DR. : Heto inumin mo ng isang linggo.
GUY : Lalakas na ang pandinig ko?
DR. : Hindi lalakas na ang utot mo!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Ano sa Tagalog ang asawa? (’May bahay’)
Ano naman ang kabit? (’May condo’)

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Anak: Mommy, ang ganda ng bracelet mo. Bigay ba ni Daddy yan?
Mommy: Ay naku anak, kung sa Daddy mo lang ako aasa, baka pati
ikaw wala sa mundong ito.

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Doc: Congrats! Tell your husband you’re pregnant.
Lady: I’m single.
Doc: Tell your lover.
Lady: There’s no lover.
Doc: OK, then. Tell your parents to start praying….you will become the next Virgin Mary.

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Doc: ‘Ano ang trabaho mo, iha?’
Girl: ‘Substitute po.’
Doc: ‘Di kaya prostitute ?’
Girl: ‘Doc, kaibigan ko ang prostitute. Kung hindi siya puwede, ako ang pumapalit!’

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Sa palasyo sa may tabing Pasig River:
REPORTER: Mr. First Gentlemen, ano pong gamot ang ini-inom ninyo pag masama ang inyong pakirandam?
FG: KWARTAl, MAYPERAcillin, at CURACOTIN E!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Did you know that the desk President Barack Obama sat at when he signed his stimulus package is the same desk where President Bill Clinton sat when he had his package stimulated?

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Tanong: Ano ba talaga si Manny Pacquiao, KAPUSO o KAPAMILYA?
SAGOT: KaPERA!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

A patient complained to his doctor, ‘I’ve been to 3 other doctors and none of them agreed with your diagnosis.’

The doctor calmly replied,
‘Just wait until the autopsy, then they’ll see that I was right.’

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

News Update:

Malacañang declared holiday from Tues to Wed.
April 7-8, 2009. keep updated and log on to….

www.tamadka.com.ph

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Mar & Noynoy are TWINS:
Both with Liberal party,
both senators,
both bachelors,
both sons of senators, both totally dominated by MAMA,
both had KORINA…!!!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

ECONOMIC SLOWDOWN: when your neighbor loses his job. :-l

RECESSION: when YOU lose your job. :-(

ECONOMIC RECOVERY: when PGMA loses her job! :-)

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Sa bar
WAITER: Sir, marami na kaung nainom.
ERAP: Gusto ko kasing makalimot.
WAITER: Aba Sir, bayaran ninyo muna tong bill ninyo bago kayo makalimot!!

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Let Nicole’s case be a lesson to every man:
Huwag humangad ng libre o magtipid, magbayad ng tama & pagkatapos, bigyan ng pamasahe, huwag iwan sa kalye.
At pakiusap lang ibalik iyung panty!ü

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

On their honeymoon, blonde bride wore a sexy nightie in bed only to find her Catholic husband settled down on the couch. When she asked him why he was not going to make love to her, he replied, “It’s Lent.” In tears, she sobbed, “Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!? Who did you lendit to & for how long?”

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Totally Worthless Info:
‘No wonder we think it’s evil: the word ‘masturbation’ comes from a Latin word meaning ‘to pollute oneself’

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Hilary woke up and starts poking Bill inthe back. ‘Wake up,’ she says.

Bill turns and groans. ‘What do you want?’ he grunts.

‘I’m going to the bathroom,’ she says.

‘You woke me up just to tell me that?’

‘No,’ Hillary says. ‘I want you to save my place.’

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Simple lang ang gusto ko sa buhay…
Ang gusto ko…
Yun ang masusunod.. Ü

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Totoo bang si Piolo ay may dugong Aleman?
Mestizo sya di ba?..
Kalahating “ale” kalahating “man.”:-)

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

This is the 1st documented Death from Viagra overdose.
“A 62 yr old man took 6 pills of Viagra 100, thinking they were his vitamin pills…
His wife Died..!”

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

“An abstract noun, the teacher said, is something u can think of but can’t touch. Can u give me 2 examples?”

Student: Your boobs and ur Pekpek, Mam!:->

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

Boy: forgive me, father for i have sin.Nanilip po ako ng babaeng sexy.
Pari: tapos?
Boy: nakita ko pong hinubad ñya damit at palda.
Pari: tapos?
Boy: hinubad po bra ñya.
Pari: tapos anu pa nkta mo, iho?
Boy: uhm, nung pagkahubad po ng panty ñya, nagbrown-out po bigla!
Pari: kabadtrip talaga yang meralco! dapat lang talagang imbestigahan ng senado yan..

Posts : 871 Join date : 2008-12-15 Age : 33

INSPIRATI0NAL QU0TES:

#1 Lahat ng pRobLema may s0Lusy0n. Kapag waLang s0Lusy0n, wag mo ng pRobLemahin,

#2 aLwaYs remember: Kung kaya ng iba, ipagawa mo sa kaniLa. D0nt f0rce urSeLf, make Life easy.

#3 hindi Lahat maganda may boyfriend. Ang iba sa kaniLa may girlfriend.

#4 don’t face your problem, if ur prblem is ur face.

#5 di bale ng tamad di naman pagod.

#6 praktis makes perfect but nobody is perfect so dont praktis.

» okay mag challenge tayu ng ating mga "BRUTE"!!!!
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